*They try to "shape" reality to define their partner in a way that is contrary to the truth and reality.

*They try to remove power from their partner to keep them under control (either deliberately or incidentally -- they lie to them to keep them in the dark all the way to they are downright controlling).

*They say if you leave the "fold" horrible things will happen to you. (You will be alone, lonely, broke, miserable, no one will ever love you like I love you, etc.)

*They come up with far-fetched explanations to explain away situations that we normally wouldn't see as logical or making sense, and because of the structured belief system created we fall for it.

*We engage in repetitive rituals that really don't get us anywhere. (Snooping, fights over the same issues, catching them lying and confronting them.)

*Any attempt to bring truth and reality into the situation is seen as a lack of faith and a direct challenge (or attack) and claims that we're not part of the "team."

*When the sex addict is forced into a corner, we are accused of being non-believers and not worthy of the attention being "given" to us.

*When all else fails, the sex addict will use threats and coercion, usually leveraging this with control of money, property, and child custody, to try to keep the codependent in line.